i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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