I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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