New invention idea: vibrating tampons
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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