That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
