ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
