Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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