Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
