i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
tell me about the fingering
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