you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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