it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
did i just pee glitter
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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