Fuck appropriateness.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
