so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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