Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
