i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i out mim tonsoeep
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