PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
