i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
