just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
