just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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