It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He better not be in your backpack
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
