Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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