uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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