I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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