she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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