She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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