Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
