she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So squirting runs in the family.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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