hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
