guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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