you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
