That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
