can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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