Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
