She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Still dying that you shit outside
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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