Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Your cock deserves a montage
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
