next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
