Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
