So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
