so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
