Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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