My cat gives me a boner
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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