No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
