Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
