weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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