Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize