I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
