i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
