Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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