Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
