I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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