Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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