is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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