I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I love you. Go after that dick
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize