kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
