I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
