is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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