You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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