O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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