I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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